This is the second year in a row that our family is celebrating Kwanzaa. My daughters love taking turns lighting the beautifully carved kinara and drinking from its matching unity cup at the beginning of each of the seven nights of the ceremony. My husband loves helping them with the kinara and I love setting out all the Kwanzaa symbols on the mkekes that my daughters made out of construction paper last year.
We’re building our own traditions as we go along into this 40 year old celebration of African American heritage, one of which is to go around the table and say what the principle of the evening means to us. (Kwanzaa is based on seven principles: umoja – unity, kujichagulia – self-determination, ujima – collective work and responsibility, ujamaa – cooperative economics, nia – purpose, kuumba – creativity, and imani – faith).
Since we’re still new at Kwanzaa, I wanted to make sure the girls remembered the real purpose of the celebration which is not, as I’m sure they hoped, another way of getting more gifts. So on the first night this year, I asked them if they knew why we celebrated.
“Family unity,” the youngest exclaimed.
“To honor our African ancestors,” the oldest one added.
Both right. For me it’s to reclaim what we lost in the middle passage when our ancestors were brought here as slaves: our African language, our African traditions and our African names.
My youngest daughter wanted to know if Tempy was really my great great grandmother’s name since our ancestor’s African names were lost. It’s a good question. While I know from census reports that Tempy was born in Louisiana and not Africa, there’s no way for me to know who gave Tempy her name, if it was her parents who could have been more closely connected to their African roots or if it was her white master. Her last name, Burton was most likely her first master’s surname, something I’m still investigating. I’ve seen some documents where she is referred to as Tempy Burton Stuart, the final name belonging to her final masters, Elizabeth and Col. W.R. Stuart. But it’s the Burton name that has endured and wherever it came from, it’s weaved its way through our family tree. Burton was my great grandmother Josephine’s surname, my great uncle’s first name, and my father’s middle name.
My family continues this tradition of honoring our ancestors on both sides of our tree by carrying on their names. My youngest daughter and I have the same middle name, shared with my maternal grandmother, Louise Walton. My oldest daughter’s middle name honors my maternal great grandmother, Marie Anderson as well as my mother in law, Claire Marie Kurtti. Incidentally, my great grandmother Marie’s real name was Lucy, but she didn’t like it so she changed it. That’s self-determination for you, or kujichagulia – Kwanzaa’s second principle.
“What’s in a name?” Juliet asked in Shakespeare’s play with the profundity reserved for teenagers hopelessly in love. For her and Romeo, their last names sealed their tragic fates. For Malcolm X, his last name Little, was the sore reminder of the man who held his ancestors in bondage, so he dropped it and went with X instead. For Temple Burton, her last name let her Civil War era world know who she belonged to. For me, my last names Burton, Stuart, Ford and now Kurtti are a road map over the terrain my family has traveled through slavery into emancipation, along the craggy paths of reconstruction and now in the uncharted waters of the present where, with all of this history blowing at my back, I can move forward with a quick and certain step and decide for myself who I will be.

Are you celebrating Kwanzaa?

The Baby Registry by Diapers.com
A baby bath tub and set of muslin swaddling blankets.
Dian Lofton Photography
A full newborn portrait session and $100 credit toward a portrait purchase. ($400 value)
Little Shoebox
A gift certificate for $25
Aunt Jean’s Toys & Treats
A gift certificate worth $25.
Mother Birth Yoga
A gift certificate for a infant massage or postpartum massage for mom.
Go Lightly
Adiri Natural Nurser baby bottles.
Minnow
Tea Collection baby blankets.
Kristen and I are way out of the newborn stage, but we can’t forget, try as we might, the loads and loads of diapers and wipes a baby goes through, so we are adding those to the bunch.
Don’t forget to vote on New Year’s Eve at First Night and stay tuned ot find out who the 1st baby of Baristaville will be!

Thank God, I will never, ever have to buy this sh** again.
We, like many over-invested parents, used to feed our baby out of Whole Foods. Since I was at home, I did the buying, dutifully and without much feeling one way or another.
However, as I just discovered, I hated it. Not sure why. Who knew?
More anti-nostalgia comes to mind, always minor sideshows. Actual challenges–like, say, late but fierce colic, ER-grade vomiting and diarrhea at Lake Tahoe–don’t seem so bad. I’d go through them again, just to get to the good parts. But I never, ever want to go back to, and will never miss…

• Mommy (Daddy) And Me Before Preschool
• Dora The Explorer
• The Wiggles
• Obsesso-pink girliness
• Disney Princess anything
• Our nanny’s wars with the neighbors’
• Trying to do the girl’s hair (I sucked at combing and brushing; she screamed)
• Hello Kitty

There’s more, but now it’s your turn. What don’t you miss?
Post by Mike Steere, writer, stay-at-home dad and blogger of Pater-familias.
Illustration by Peter Arkle.

Wednesday, December 30
The 12 Days of Science
Who: School-aged kids and up.
What: Fun, free, daily science acitivites for twelve days. Today’s activities are: The Playful Penguin and Funny Flavors Ice Cream Making
Where: Liberty Science Center, 222 Jersey City Blvd., Jersey City, NJ
When: Wednesday, December 30. The Playful Penguin at 11 a.m., 12 p.m. and 1 p.m. Funny Flavors Ice Cream Making at 1 p.m. and 4 p.m.
Cost: Free with paid admission of $15.75 for adults and $11.50 for kids ages 2 – 12.
Thursday, December 31
First Night Montclair
See the Family lineup here.
Saturday, January 2
Museums on Us
Who: Lovers of arts and culture of all ages.
What: Bank of America offers free admission for caldholders to participating museums the first weekend of each month.
Where: Participating Museums:
Montclair Art Museum, 3 South Mountain Avenue, Montclair, NJ.
Newark Museum, 49 Washington Street, Newark, NJ.
Aljira, A Center for Contemporary Art, 591 Broad Street, Newark, NJ.
Liberty Science Center, 222 Jersey City Boulevard, Jersey City, NJ.
Jersey City Museum, 350 Montgomery Street, Jersey City, NJ.
The Bronx Zoo, Fordham Road, New York, NY.
The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1000 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY.
Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum, 12th Avenue and 46th Street, New York, NY.
Whitney Museum of Art, 945 Madison Avenue, New York, NY.
New York Aquarium, Surf Avenue & West 8th Street, New York, NY.
When: First weekend of the month (January 2 and 3)
Cost: Free for each cardholder.

If you’re interested in helping, the Toy Swap is looking for volunteers for the swap committee. Click here to send your details.
Please check the site for updates closer to the time.
Meanwhile, here are some dates to mark on your brand new 2010 calendar:
What: The Great West Essex Toy Swap
When: Feb. 20 – drop off toys after 4pm in exchange for coupons of varying value which can be used to pick up new toys at no charge on the following day
Feb. 21 — the Toy Swap – from 10am to 3pm.
Where: Temple Sholom of West Essex
760 Pompton Ave
Cedar Grove, NJ 07009-1229
973.239.1326

There is, of course, the rink at The Rockefeller Center. Check the schedule on the link, and remember there’s an entrance fee for adults of $15.50 each and $9.50 for kids, along with skate rental.
Central Park also has picturesque outdoor skating at its Wolllman Rink, or at the Lasker Rink, for a fee of between $3-$6 per youth, and $6-$10 per adult.

Magician Joe Fisher
Joe Fischer returns with a magic program that will astound, baffle, delight, thrill and entertain your audience. This fast-paced show has the perfect blend of magic, audience participation, comedy and excitement. Joe has an outstanding rapport with children – ability to communicate on their level is what makes this show real magic.
Shows at 5:00, 6:05, 7:45 and 8:50 p.m. at Hillside School Gymnasium, 54 Orange Road.
Princess Moxie with Jennifer Levine
Princess Moxie Rules! is a musical puppet show created and performed by Jennifer Levine. Levine attended San Francisco School of Circus Arts and has also studied at New York University and the Sandglass Institute. Princess Moxie Rules! is the story of Princess Moxie’s quest to find a true friend. The show has been described as extremely humorous and entertaining and has received praise for its depiction of a strong, independent female as well as its beautiful hand-sewn puppets and fun original music.
Show time is 5:00 p.m. at the United Way Building, 60 South Fullerton Avenue.
Ventriloquist Bob Conrad
Bob Conrad has been a ventriloquist since childhood and is one of the leading exponents of this ancient art. See him bring an inanimate object to life and turn it into a living personality, as he creates Tennessee Turtle form a sock. Meet Coco the playful chimp, and Gooney Bird the five-foot tall bird puppet. Members of the audience will take part in “The Balloon Blowing Contest of the Century”.
Shows at 5:00 and 6:05 p.m. at St. Lukes Hall, 73 south Fullerton Avenue.
Wild n Wacky Challenge
One of the most popular party games shows around, the Wild n Wacky Challenge is loaded with hilarious and crazy stunts where audience member compete against each other in a series of unique, on-on-one and interactive group challenges. Watch out for the famous homemade sludge and pie wall, ready to make a mess out of some lucky contestant. Join in the fun as a professional game show host and referee gather teams and individuals to compete against one another balancing plates, breaking balloons, tossing rings and participating in lots of other fun-filled challenges.
Show times are 8:50, 9:55 and 11:00 p.m. at the Park Street YMCA.
Montclair Arts Council Crafts Workshop
Bring the kids to a wonderful crafts workshop with local artist and art teacher Veronique Ramsey, sponsored by the Montclair Arts Council. Veronique invites all children and their families, to create lanterns, masks and instruments. Let’s light up the First Night’s procession! Afterwards, Veronique will assemble all participants of the workshops to join in the procession.
Workshop at 5:00 p.m. in the Salvation Army Sanctuary, 13 Trinity Place.

Lebida began teaching at Montclair public schools in 1970, demonstrating his talent as a first-rate math teacher, and as a policy-shaper in his role as assistant principal at MHS. He has spearheaded the district’s most progressive student programs, including a new credit-sharing program with Essex County Community College aimed at helping struggling students to graduate high school on time.
His prowess as an extraordinary head coach for the Mounties is legend. He has led them to repeated victories and taken Montclair to the state championship numerous times.
If you’ve got what it takes to walk in Lebida’s shoes as head coach, apply for job by ringing the HR department at 973.509.4005. For details on the staff/community/alumni search panel, ring the superintendent’s office at 973.509.4010.