Have you ever wondered why some women wouldn’t think of eating sushi, drinking soda or smoking cigarettes during their pregnancy but then give formula instead of breast milk once the baby arrives? This pre-baby versus post-baby health concern is a curious phenomenon.
Last week was World Breastfeeding Week and with it the accompanying stories of health statistics, challenges and guilt. Having worked with hundreds of women individually and in workshops discussing the challenges of cooking, I have gathered some pretty enlightening anecdotes regarding how women feel about their role at home and in society around the topics of breastfeeding and cooking.
Interestingly enough, the decline in breast feeding and eating healthy by cooking at home have a similar history. With breastfeeding, women wanted more freedom or were told by society/the media and big business (formula companies) that they wanted more freedom. Many women gave up the nurturing, bonding and healthy act of breastfeeding and opted for formula. Many gave birth and were not even asked if they planned on breastfeeding–it was just assumed that they would use formula and their chests were routinely taped up so as to avoid having their milk come in.
Similarly with cooking from home, women were encouraged by the media after WWII to stop wasting time in the kitchen because they were “modern day women.” In reality, the food industry, with so many leftover non-perishable foods from the war needed new consumers for these convenience food products. What better hands to throw them into than the housewife who made all of the purchasing decisions? This was the start of the propaganda of women not wanting to be in the kitchen so that they could be involved in more sophisticated, cerebral or lucrative endeavors. Long story short, the chicken nuggets won.
Nowadays, if a woman decides to breastfeed, she may give it up soon after she starts because, contrary to popular belief, breastfeeding can be hard! It is NOT instinctive. Historically, a new mother was taught how to breastfeed by her own mother, friends or community members. These days families are fragmented and no one is around to teach us. In addition, our culture places great value on being self-sufficient so when we ask for help, it feels like there is something wrong with us. Oh, the guilt. Maybe we are not a nurturing person or worse, we are not going to be good mothers.
New moms may also give up breastfeeding because there is no real incentive to keep going. Let’s face it, everyone else uses formula, it is readily available and even free at the hospital to take home with us in a handy carrying case so why should we bust our butts trying when we have so much else going on with the new baby? Many of us have were given formula and we turned out okay didn’t we?
Let’s look at the similarities with cooking. No one needs to cook anymore because we have very cheap convenience foods. Before this century, when there were no convenience foods, we had to be taught by our families how to cook or else we’d starve. ust as with breastfeeding, cooking is not innate and we must be taught or have it modeled for us. If we try and struggle, as with breastfeeding, we may give up easily because there is no real incentive since we can just keep getting those pre-packaged chicken nuggets and mac n’ cheese boxes. Besides, we grew up on convenience foods and we turned out okay right? With many of us, as with breastfeeding, there is still the guilt that we are not doing right by our families.
As a society we know that breast is best, as is wholesome, home-cooked food. How can we accomplish the goal of providing our families with these necessary things? We need support. When the going gets tough, we need the people around us to let us know how valued we are for making the effort to learn something that may be challenging but that with hard work, will result in a healthier, economically more reasonable way to feed our families. We need to ask for help and give help with supportive tasks like babysitting, shopping and supportive words to help us all persevere.
We need to take back our boobs and take back our kitchens, but we need help. What was/is your incentive? Did/do you get help with breastfeeding or cooking or both?
Alma Schneider is a licensed clinical social worker with a specialization in helping individuals overcome their practical and psychological obstacles to cooking. Think Dr. Phil meets Rachel Ray. Healthy and “everything in moderation” recipes can be found on her blog, Take Back the Kitchen
Give me a break! My twins both had formula, never got sick and are healthy as can be now at 5 years old. I tried to breast feed and couldn’t (3 weeks pumping thank you) They did get some colostrum, but that’s it– they are smart as whips, physically perfect and were not damaged in any way from not getting the boob. The lunacy over breast feeding is truly annoying.
If you want to do it & are able to, great. If you can’t, your kids will be just fine!
WOAH. I was a devoted and die-hard proponent of breastfeeding … I nursed my baby for 14mos … and even *I* am completely appalled at the author’s approach here. Comparing formula feeding to eating sushi, drinking soda or smoking cigarettes?! C’mon. Can you please join us in 2010?
Breastfeeding is a personal choice and only one of very many components of caring for an infant. The author’s tone doesn’t help the breastfeeding movement … it only serves to perpetuate the all-or-nothing militant stereotype of breastfeeding advocates. Back off and let every mom decide for herself what’s good for her and her baby.
But the reality is that no artificial can ever replace human milk; there is a significant amount of money to deter women NOT to breastfeed and how many new mothers still leave a birth facility with a take home bag of formula. Sorry that the science is alarming, but it is true–nothing replicates human milk and it is a public health issue. I applaud the author for saying what science continues to explain, no amount of artificial milk will ever ever be able to compensate for breastmilk. We hear stories of great children being great and healthy, but if you look at the primal health research of Dr. Michel Odent, M.D., you can see why breastmilk is a public health issue that warrants real conversations. Currently, the US, unlike Canada lets formula companies advertise and promote and it makes a difference at breastfeeding initiation and retention rates.
I don’t find Alma’s tone to perpetuate the all-or-nothing militant stereotype of breastfeeding advocates at all.
She is saying how difficult breastfeeding can be, how women have such a lack of support in our society, how our healthcare system works against something that is beneficial for both mother and baby and is free.
It is a fact that breastfeeding is best for babies. And feeding formula will not harm a baby or make a mother bad if she chooses not to. However, there are many mothers who want to breastfeed and would do so successfully IF they had the proper support. But sadly, many end up not being able to breastfeed and deal with guilt of failing.
Well I didn’t feel guilty because I couldn’t and I know my kids are absolutely fine. As for the comment….
“there is a significant amount of money to deter women NOT to breastfeed…”
Not really sure what the heck that means — they gave me samples of similac at the hospital to get me by, but completely encouraged breast feeding and had a nurse come and instruct me repeatedly. And what about the significant COST to encourage women to breastfeed! Let me tell you, that similac ready to feed wasn’t cheap!
“Have you ever wondered why some women wouldn’t think of eating sushi, drinking soda or smoking cigarettes during their pregnancy but then give formula instead of breast milk once the baby arrives? This pre-baby versus post-baby health concern is a curious phenomenon.”
Ouch. How do you NOT interpret this comment as analogizing feeding a baby formula to, ie, smoking cigarettes when pregnant. Double ouch.
Alma makes some points, but I think loses some readers immediately with that overly-judgmental opener. As someone who ended up having to feed formula to two of my children, it put me immediately on the defensive. I think Alma’s points would have been better served with a different “opener” for her column. Of course, then it wouldn’t be as controversial and generate as many comments….
I believe “breast is best,” but there are a number of circumstances when the mother is simply unable to breastfeed (ie serious or life-threatening maternal health issues. And yes, with women giving birth much later in life nowadays, it is not as uncommon as one may think).
My breastfed baby is the only one of mine to develop serious eczema and asthma. But I can only hope that that the breastmilk she received at least made her conditions less severe.
Alma is a wonderful contributor here, and I believe her heart is in the right place, but, well, ouch.
Georgette: “And feeding formula will not harm a baby….”
And smoking cigarettes while pregnant may very well. Georgette, Alma equated feeding formula to a baby with smoking cigarettes while pregnant. You just can’t get around that.
(Sorry in advance for length….)
I enjoy and support Alma’s basic idea around “take back the kitchen” (though I still don’t know from whom). But the first paragraph here is one of the most judgmental things I’ve read on b-net/kids.
Did anyone else look at this BEFORE it was posted to perhaps, guide her to make her point without offending (I nominate PAC2).
(One of the main problems, which b-net is not immune to, with “blogs” is the lack of a strong editor for writing, style and content. This is yet another example.)
Alma’s point, as PAC2 perfectly states, are valid- but her first sentence is just dumb, dumb, dumb.
Oh, and offensive, wrong and reductive.
I don’t come here expecting much, but this is below even that standard. Equating smoking and formula??
Know what, I just said it out loud– it’s downright funny, in its stupidity.
Also, that this “post” offers NO STATISTICAL information is telling. A quick google search sent me to the March of Dimes site that said:
“In 2003, about 70 percent of women in the United States were breastfeeding their babies when they left the hospital (4). About 36 percent of women were still breastfeeding their babies at 6 months of age (4). These are the highest numbers ever recorded in the United States.”
So the idea that at some other point in time women were breastfeeding MORE, if this is correct, wrong. (So, perhaps the evil formula companies are NOT winning.)
Again, including some FACTS, and offering a non-judgemental tone COULD have produced a nice exchange of comments and ideas.
Instead, we get this…
(Though with 7-now 8- comments, I guess this might be viewed as a winning post.)
Prior to the invention of formula I think all women were probably breastfeeding. Unless Profwilliams is suggesting formula has always been around. Alma is correct about the formula companies. Women are often discouraged from breast feeding. My experience in the hospital was horrendous. They never sent in a lactation consultant even though I struggled for two days and most of the nurses kept offering me to supplement rather than help me learn to breast feed. Formula companies have been known to provide free formula to women of lower economic backgrounds to encourage formula feeing and I read more than one article suggesting undereducated women have been made to feel formula was superior. This is why this country has started campaigning for breast feeding. Because of the great amount of ignorance on the topic. Formula is not dangerous. But not providing at least some breast milk to a new baby can lead to health issues that could have been prevented. Ultimately, every woman must decide for herself, but please no judgement all around. I did extended breast feeding and was constantly judged. If we were all properly educated on both sides I think that would really help.
Where in my post could you think I was suggesting that “formula has always been around”?
Again, (is it so hard for folks to do a little bit of googling to offer some STATS?) ACCORDING to the March of Dimes, America- at least in 2004- showed that the highest “percent of women were still breastfeeding their babies at 6 months of age (4)”.
IF TRUE, how is she AND YOU correct about the formula companies when American women HAVE NEVER breastfed more than today? Sure they want women to use it, is that really news?
NO. What’s news is that women are breastfeeding more DESPITE the companies.
But since Alma never offered ANY FACTS, we are left with her thoughts on the subject.
Sadly, her thoughts are not supported by fact.
Perhaps an UPDATE with some facts would help clear this up? Again, I searched for about 3 mins. and found the March of Dimes site. I would think someone who equates smoking while pregnant with giving a kid formula would be willing to provide something beyond her thoughts- when it appears her thoughts are not based on fact.
Or maybe they are– who knows without some facts.
Hi readers. When you’re right, you’re right and mea culpa. As I go back and read this, my casual comparison of smoking to using formula was way off base, and I apologize if I offended anyone – I can certainly see how that line would have. Also, I should have mentioned that many women are unable to breastfeed and for them it is not a choice.
Alma
Prof Williams, the March of Dimes stats are only part of the story. What they don’t tell you is that the formula companies were the first to collect data on breastfeeding rates. Before the aggressive marketing of formula began in the 50s, most women did breastfeed, so there was no need to collect data. Breastfeeding reached it’s low in the 70s when only about 20% of new mothers initiated breastfeeding. More recently the CDC has collected breastfeeding stats.
What the March of Dimes stats also don’t reveal is that in other industrialized nations where aggressive formula marketing is not allowed, and where women who choose to breastfeed are not sabotaged, breastfeeding rates are much, much higher–in Sweden, 98% of women initiate breastfeeding, 79% are still mostly or exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months. In the U.S., only 14% are still breastfeeding at 6 months, and the biggest drop-off is in the days and weeks post-partum, long before moms go back to work. It is not mothers’ fault! Considering that the CDC found that 70% of U.S. hospitals score a “D” on breastfeeding protocol, it is a wonder that any mom manages to breastfeed at all. Trying to succeed at breastfeeding in the U.S. is like trying to run a marathon in stilettos while people throw tomatoes at you. The fact that moms do it and succeed is a testament to the instinct to want to nurse, and the tenaciousness of mothers in the face of obstacles.
I think it’s wonderful that your kids are doing well, and as a mother who used formula also, I want you to know that Best for Babes absolutely supports all parents to make an informed feeding decision and to achieve their personal goals, whether that is to breastfeed for 2 weeks, 2 years or not at all. Moms don’t need more pressure, judgment or guilt.
That said, we all need to be careful not to invalidate decades of scientific research and medical evidence that clearly associates exclusive formula use with an increased risk of gastro-intestinal & respiratory infection, hospitalization (between 3 and 10 more visits), obesity, diabetes, allergies, ear infection, certain childhood cancers and more. Some kids turn out fine; statistically many do not. Moms who never breastfeed and who have a family history of breastcancer are 60% more likely to get breast cancer, and all moms who don’t breastfeed at all are at significantly greater risk for heart disease, osteoporosis, diabetes, obesity, ovarian cancer and more.
Talking about the risk of formula makes some mothers feel guilty, but moms need to realize it is not their fault. Instead of feeling guilty, we hope mothers will become angry at being misled by blatantly false and unregulated advertising, and at the barriers to breastfeeding, which keep them from achieving THEIR OWN personal goals. Most people are not even aware of all the barriers moms face to making an informed decision, and the “booby traps” that keep them from succeeding at breastfeeding.
Thanks Bestfor,
I am one who believes that these, like most involving the raising of kids, is a personal choice. To that, I don’t really care what decision women make, so long as they are informed- and it seems that the information is communicated, but that, perhaps, women aren’t making the decision some prefer.
My point about the March of Dimes however, had nothing to do with breastfeeding per se, but the writer’s attempt to write an informed article that rightfully presented the argument as honestly as possible. For that, facts were needed, but none presented.
So while I appreciate Alma’s comment (you’ve proved once again, that you are a terrific woman; one that I continue to have GREAT respect for), my issue is “bloggers” (all bloggers) who “post” without regard to the basic journalistic propriety we’re accustomed.
Please stop calling them boobs.
boob 1 (bb)
n. Slang
A stupid or foolish person; a dolt.
I think by now we all know what Alma stands for, where her heart is at, and what her intention is in writing this piece. She is all about empowering and supporting women and their choices. I’m glad that there is so much discussion around this topic as it means that it is an important one. Let’s just remember who our author is and how much her writing and overall work contributes to others. She is just one of those rare people who combines inspired thinking, heart, creativity and deep devotion to the well-being of her clients.
Wow, where to begin? I am currently breastfeeding my fourth child. Breastfeeding is not easy. Boy did I think I knew what to do, and almost ended up quitting by the 4th day. Thank goodness a friend recommended I contact a lactation consultant. I thought something was wrong with me or my baby. The lc was a life-saver and I am extremely grateful to her.
Unfortunately, this help didn’t come from the pediatrician, who told me to supplement, or my ob/gyn, who didn’t even want to see me until 6 weeks after birth. So many new moms do not have the knowledge to find or resources to pay for a lactation consultant. A call to my insurance company to see if this is reimbursable was frustrating and went nowhere. They said it was “education and training”, and not covered.
I am back to work and struggling with finding time in my day to express the milk while figuring out how to also juggle the travel requirements of the job.
Thanks to the healthcare reform, companies are required to provide a private room to pump. I’m sure that helps many, but in my case, does that mean that I can refuse to travel?
REgarding your tie-in to home-cooked meals, the best gifts I received were the prepared meals that friends dropped off. So if you know a new mom, the best way to help her is to provide healthy food for her (especially if she is nursing!) and her family, so she can focus on nurturing that new baby.
OK, if she were equating formula with smoking, the comparison would be extreme at best. But am I really the only one who got Alma’s actual point ? That pregnant women will go to great lengths for the health of their unborn child, even fighting something as extreme as an addiction to nicotine, but then, seemingly give up on breastfeeding with much less effort. I didn’t have the impression she was judging or insulting anyone but, rather, placing the blame on the formula companies and a society that often does not support those who would otherwise choose to breastfeed, I think the first poster misunderstood a negative spin that was never intended (as evidenced by alma’s subsequent post) and the rest of you were, as usual, all too happy to run with it.
OK, if she were equating formula with smoking, the comparison would be extreme at best. But am I really the only one who got Alma’s actual point ? That pregnant women will go to great lengths for the health of their unborn child, even fighting something as extreme as an addiction to nicotine, but then, seemingly give up on breastfeeding with much less effort. I didn’t have the impression she was judging or insulting anyone but, rather, placing the blame on the formula companies and a society that often does not support those who would otherwise choose to breastfeed, I think the first poster misunderstood a negative spin that was never intended (as evidenced by alma’s subsequent post) and the rest of you were, as usual, all too happy to run with it.
I think this post and the ensuing comments are an unfortunate example of what’s going on with women and mothers today. We too often waste time judging others, feeling the need to defend our choices (and come on, let’s all admit it… none of us are 100% comfortable with our choices) and remaining divided, instead of working together to make some real and positive changes for all women. Let’s get to the important point of Alma’s post: Moms today have it very rough and things that benefit our children, such as breastfeeding and childcare support, adequate PAID maternity leave, health benefits, and work/life balance that could maybe help us get a nutritious, homemade dinner on the table every night are severely lacking in our society!