I never liked minivans. Swagger wagons are for soccer moms, and I won’t let my kids play soccer. (Because I’m mean.) They’re for parents who put those stick-figure decals on their rearview windows, the ones that represent each family member plus pets. (Again, I don’t do that because I’m mean.)
Like most people, I want to drive something cool. My first ride ever–at age 17–was a Dodge Ram D-50 4 x 4, a boy-magnet in high school. Anyway, when we decided to shop for my new car earlier this week, I told my husband I wanted something with a third row, preferably an SUV. (I’m going to skip the politics of global warming for brevity’s sake.) We had a Mercedes R-350 crossover, and I just didn’t like its indecisiveness. Were you a car or a truck, R Class? It handled like a station wagon, plus it was dented and had some engine problems.
To start, I picked out a used Lincoln Navigator at Liberty Lincoln/Mercury on Route 3. My dad worked at the Ford truck plant in Kentucky for 25 years, a job that put me through college, so I felt an obligation to love the SUV. But I didn’t. I felt like Puff Daddy (Diddy, whatever) behind the wheel. Then I drove an Infinity QX56 SUV at Fette, and it was even bigger. I wasn’t comfortable test driving it onto Route 46 because I don’t drive Mac trucks. I decided that SUVs are still awesome, but there’s no way I can parallel park one on Church Street.
Our next stop wasn’t planned. On a practical whim, I asked my husband to take me to Toyota Universe on Route 46. He said sure because a new minivan costs the same as the used SUVs. It took me 10 minutes to fall in love with a white Sienna, and my husband scratched his head. He didn’t want a minivan, but this was my car, the kid-hauling car. The salesman at Toyota Universe dropped the price, and my husband dug that. Plus, the seats were so comfortable; the doors slid open with the remote control key; and the DVD screen was big. This car, a bloated white boat, handled like my inlaws old Lexus. It was a much smoother ride than the trucks we’d tested. Another plus: Even a monkey could park it.
So as of Wednesday, I’ve been rolling down the street in my own swagger wagon. So what if I take it to the GAP? It’ll be great for trips Mountain Creek Water Park. I’ll drive it to Costco–maybe even soccer practice one day. A few of my Facebook friends didn’t approve of the purchase and tried to talk me into hipper crossovers. I got their point. It’s just a fact that minivans aren’t cool, and I’m totally down with that. My Sienna is like my favorite car ever.