I love the New Year’s holiday. I love the “dancing, kissing, champagne, onion dip” as the characters exclaim in my favorite New Year’s musical “Striking 12” (my husband is one of the stars of the show). And I love the opportunity New Years presents to review the past, reconnect with personal dreams, and resolve to manifest them in the New Year. And I believe that New Year’s resolutions are also an opportunity for children to learn the value of goal-setting and self-discipline.

I asked my son what he thought about this whole New Years Resolution-setting thing. He immediately and enthusiastically started listing off all kinds of resolutions for himself: “be a great runner, be a great artist, have fun because when kids are having fun the world is a happier place, etc., etc.”

“Excellent; he is a boy with dreams!” I thought. But then pragmatic mom jumped in “how can I help him to actually achieve these things and feel good about himself?”

You see I know that helping children to believe they can succeed is an essential life-skill. It is what psychologists call “self-efficacy”*, the ability to define a goal, persevere, and see oneself as capable. Researchers have found direct correlations between high self-efficacy and personal accomplishment, reduced stress and lower vulnerability to depression. Aren’t those qualities that every parent wants their children to possess? Researchers found that one of the key sources for building self-efficacy is through observing others. Seeing someone similar to oneself work hard to achieve a goal makes you a believer that you too can do the same. Isn’t that what the Weight Watchers advertising team is banking on?

A great way to encourage these types of observations with your children is through stories, either factual or fictional. Try these practices in the New Year:

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