Two years ago my, then 6 year old, daughter asked me if she could have a Chinese-themed birthday party. Blame the Mandarin program at her school or blame me for making her continue Spanish so she could continue to translate for her mother during family get-togethers. This theme then began to travel to other parts of Asia, with origami paper cranes, fan dancing etc. So we decided to include Japan and Korea and I am so glad we did, as we both learned a lot and the party was a huge hit! Continue Reading

Sometimes it is nice to make something, not for or with your kids but, for yourself. Let me say that again in case you didn’t understand those words… NOT FOR OR WITH YOUR KIDS, BUT FOR YOURSELF. Seriously where does mommy guilt get us? Straight to Nowheresville, population: You. It’s wonderful to craft with your children and okay to craft by yourself, the important thing is to have balance. Hopefully your Mother’s Day will restore some of that balance back into your life. Continue Reading

UPDATE: The Scary Mommy party is SOLD OUT as of today, May 6! We excited to party with the 60+ people who are coming!

For those perfect Mommies out there I would like to make one thing clear—this Scary Mommy party ain’t for you sister. If parties like this make you want to climb up on your soap-box and tell the rest of us, half-sane, and with any luck half-in-the-bag messes, how motherhood is, and should be, I have a 56 lb. bag of “Shut-it” just for you. For the rest of us ready to enjoy a night of non-judgmental fun, I hope you have made your reservation, because we only have a few openings left. The Baristas have been hard at work planning the Scary Mommy Book Signing Bash at Trend Coffee and Tea House. One of my tasks has been to come up with a fabulous cocktail. Not to worry, I have you covered ladies.

Sticking with the red and black theme that Scary Mommy, aka Jill Smokler, loves,  I decided to mix up a luscious summer red fruit sangria. When making sangria, be careful of any juice blends when mixing drinks. I prefer using 100% juice mixes and adding sugar if necessary. This is a great way to avoid that cough syrup flavor. I added blackberries for garnish, because the darker the berry the sweeter the fruit.

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The fact that I can “sing” the  theme to Jaws—Dun-Dun, Dun-Dun—to my kids,only to be met with blank stares, makes me very aware of the generation gap. My children will not know the  international gesture for rolling down a window, slamming down a phone or turning the T.V. off, but they will, oh yes they will have good, old-fashioned home birthday parties. Continue Reading

When people post pictures of things on Facebook, such as cars, hot dogs, cupcakes, miniature Frank Lloyd Wright homes built to scale, home-made toothpaste, livestock, and trees, you would assume that these objects are rather important to that person. Georgette Gilmore’s favorite dogwood tree was one of those objects and during the Snoctober storm her beloved tree got served. Her then 7-year-old heard the tree crack under the weight of the snow and was heartbroken when she saw the tree split in two. So in honor of Arbor Day, what to do?

We replant!

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I have seen some cute things in my day, but other than my kids and this tiny marmoset that can fit around your finger, there is nothing on this earth cuter than a baby lamb bleating for its mother. Not one darned thing. The weather has been perfect for a day trip out to the Howell Living History Farm and my kids and I absolutely love this place. We went to the spring bee keeping demonstration last year. While my 9 year old niece was really able to stay focused and enjoy the program, my then four year old, was more interested in running and seeing the baby animals and watching the horse drawn wagons. Continue Reading

There are two simple reasons all of the flowers are blooming so early this year: 1)Global Swarming (like global warming but just slightly different) and 2) Simply because I told them to and I use my powers for good and not evil. What is the lesson we are all suppose to learn here? Well for one, don’t piss me off or I will kill your lawn with my mind powers and two writing something random and funny about cherry blossom barrettes is not impossible.

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Crayons, eggs and a jar. Really people, could I make this any easier for you? What parent does not have broken crayons strewn all over the house? Most likely the one who tosses those things and does not save them for a craft, but that’s not me.

No. I save these things so my kids and I can do creative and fun projects, like this one. And then my daughter asked me, “Mommy are we going to dye eggs at Grandmary’s house too?” When I say yes she  says, “Good, because she has the real kind you get in the box.” The grass is always greener people and this is why I have the neighbor kids over to do projects. They think I am a craft goddess. Is a title too much too ask for?

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My son with a rather wet shirt

Every year my kids try to prank me, Queen of the Jokesters, on April Fool’s Day and every year I get them back. Don’t mess with Mommy, somethin’ isn’t quite right with her. My kids are only 5 and 9, but as they get older,  I’m sure my plan will totally backfire on me as I age and get crazier. Toilet seats covered with plastic wrap, salt in the sugar bowl, replacing my eye cream with breath mints — all lame attempts to try and out master the master.

If your kids are old enough to hold a straight face while pranking you, let them get the first joke on and act totally surprised. Actually, act like you forgot that it was the April 1st. Use the Leap Year as an excuse. They won’t think you have anything planned, but you do! Time to water the spaghetti tree.

Here Are Some Oldies but Goodies:

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When Georgette Gilmore asks you to come up with a craft for the 4th Annual Spring Treasure Hunt you say, “Sure I’ve got it.” When she comes back a few days later and says instead, “We need a creative idea to make and put inside the eggs….oh and we need to make 100 of them.” You spend your plane ride back to N.J. sketching out as many ideas as you can, while the woman next to you thinks, “Why do they always seat me next to the nuts?”

And so the egg filled with a creative craft, rather than candy was born. And then Bad Aunt Georgette added a piece of candy in the eggs boys and girls. Aunt Holly said “No,” because she believes kids like things other than candy. Join us at the Spring Treasure Hunt on Saturday, March 24 at 12 pm and you can get some of the eggs filled with a Bird Craft (and candy!)

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